I really hate the beginning of the year. In my puny brain for some reason there is a cavernous space when I envision the time between December 31 and January 1. I have no idea why. It is just like any other 24 hour period....second and minutes passing into each other, unstopping, without jumping over a time canyon.
There is so much pressure to make resolutions, to change for the better, to do something different. Unbelievably I have been able to master to some degree some things I have always wanted to change about my self this past year. I have always wanted to be a better house keeper, and I have gotten better. I have wanted for years to get into shape, I have almost acheived that goal. For years I thought those were the really hard things to accomplish, those were the things blocking my peace, fulfillment etc. (Just an aside -you can't be at peace while obese and living in squalor-) But like everyone knows losing weight doesn't make you happy, having a spotless house doesn't bring joy. Those things alone mind you. I have discovered that while striving for all those things that a certain degree of presence, of concentrated investment into my life and heart and into the lives and hearts of others is key to my peace. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, tried to slow down a bit- put less stock into how fast I am progressing as a photographer, what the scale is reading, whose live are practically perfect or far more exciting than mine (a dilusion often sold and bought in the blogging world).
And invest more in smelling my baby's skin (while it still smells good) dancing with Coco to her favorite cds, sitting next to David and looking into his big browns while helping him spell (his latest obsession). I can feel this time slipping by so fast and I want to remember it for the best of it.
P.S Since blog posts can be pretty boring without pictures I threw some in. Last 3- Evidence of Coco's possible multiple personality disorder.
First 2- evidence of the most darling, sweet, good natured boy every to hit the planet (besides yours of course)
8 comments:
I know how you feel. I could'nt stop laughing at the coco pics- what a character!
I know exactly how you feel... Since it was my first new year as a single mom of 3 kids it was incredible hard this year. I hope that this new year will bring something better in my own life.
And for you I wish you all the best. Continue posting nice pictures, your an inspiration for me.
I love reading your thoughts. I miss hearing your thoughts more often. I completely understand what you are talking about in this post. I too am slowing down to enjoy the moments more. I know how precious this time is and I will be SO SO SO sad when it is gone. Your kids are adorable.
Carrie, your family is just adorable! You also look fabulous! How are you??
I absolutely agree with the slowing down thing. Its all going so fast, I hate thinking that I may look back and wonder what I could have done different.
I do wonder though about losing weight and being happier. I think I could be a little happier when I lose some weight ") Anyhow get what you mean!!
Love this post. You are a gifted writer. I loved how you describe the changing of the new year.
Love your photography! I'm Jenny's neighbor and Katie's boyfriends cousins, wife? Does that even make sense? Anywho I was blog snooping and came across yours, holy cow your look so much like Katie, and Jenny........ Beautiful!!! I guess that would make sense, your sisters, duh! Hope to meet you someday! :)
Carrie, you are always an inspiration to me! I feel like I am at the point you described yourself at before this year... trying to get myself out of a slovenly rut (though I can't imagine your house being as gross as mine is)!
Hopefully, I can find my inspiration to get off my butt and do something about it rather than sit around and complain and hope for "something" to happen. I think it is true that we can always find things that would make us happy if... They key, I suppose, is to find things that will inspire us & make us happy, and as we do so, we will in turn feel the need to make the other things around us better.
You are amazing! So thankful that the Lord saw fit to put you into my life!
Post a Comment